1 baby 2 parents 3 grandparents 4 great-grandparents 1 aunt/godmother
2 uncles 1 godfather 1 great-uncle 1 great-aunt 6 other cousins of various relations
5 swords 1 deer 1 dart gun 2 more aunts with pizza
Steps:
1) Visit great-grandma, baby will fuss and only take short naps. Baby will scream when parents nearly hit deer on way home.
2) Grandma visits, stays for remaining steps.
3) Wait a day and visit great-uncle and aunt's house with cousins, only one short nap allowed. Baby will fuss. Baby will fuss only a little while parents drive home white-knuckled with icy roads.
4) Wait a day and celebrate Christmas, make the baby wear adorable sweater outfit with a bib, so no spit up will ruin said outfit. The baby will be perfectly content during Star Wars Episode 1 Monopoly, but will need fed after mother has spent hours preparing Christmas dinner and has just sat down.
5) Visit other grandparents, require baby to wear seasonal clothing. Immediately leave to go out to eat with aunts with pizza. Return and endure sword fight involving everyone present in their twenties. One great grandmother will visit and presents will be opened while there is a short nap. Fuss, fuss fuss. Visit other great grandparents where baby will completely conk out. Return to grandparents and leave for home.
6) Gently bounce baby (never shaken nor stirred) and place in crib.
Results:
Baby will sleep through the night.
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